As I walked out of my appointment yesterday there was a young girl, maybe close to my age, walking up when she asked me how to get to the same office I had just left.
Girl, whoever you were, I wanted to give you a high five, a “good for you!” because going to see a therapist isn‘t easy, it takes a lot of work.
Instead, I told her which way to head to get to where she wanted to be.
This was day three of wearing the same shirt, which was also why I was hesitant to accept a hug at my therapist appointment yesterday. I didn‘t wear make up yesterday either and I even stopped at Target. Entirely unlike me, but I’m accepting myself for who I am and what I look like more and more with each passing day.
Don’t worry, I did shower this evening and put on some clean clothes after finishing my new book in under 24 hours, because that’s just how I read.
My face breaks out constantly. It’s getting better, but I also have a nightly wash and moisturizing routine for the first time in my 26 years of life.
I don‘t want my girls seeing me always put a different face on to leave the house, or them to think I only feel pretty when my face is all done up. I also don‘t want my son to think that only girls who have a bunch of stuff on their face are pretty. That might sound silly to some, but lately I’ve noticed my children picking up on a lot, a lot of very minuscule things that are actually very important and I don’t want them to think in just one direction, or I’d rather change their thinking entirely, because they picked up the wrong vibe from mom or someone else they spent time around.
Kids are insanely fragile and susceptible to ideas, thoughts, impressions. Ones that at this age are extremely important because their little brains are developing and once they’ve decided their impression on something, it can become more difficult to change or help redirect their imposition.
I’m doing my best to raise my children to have an open mind, be caring and kind, love others as you would yourself, love and have respect for yourself, be accepting to those around you who are different. Seek out those without friends that are alone and give them a friend, a listening ear. Set safe boundaries and always always ask someone to respect the way you feel. Opinions may differ, feelings may differ, but respect should always be present.
Yes, I make mistakes. Who doesn’t? But there are also outside forces. People we end up spending time around, situations on movies that require explanations and why we wouldn’t want to act that way towards others. There are always new ideas and ways of acting to explain and teach them. Some days, my patience wears thin because I just don’t know any better way to break it down or explain it to them, yet the behavior or words are not changing. Yes, they are young, but they also understand, to some extent. If I let these instances continue without teaching them now, to the best of my ability, how hard is it going to be for them to unlearn when they’re deemed old enough to know better?
Respect and caring for others comes at a very early age. We do our littles no justice if we don’t introduce them to these things.
Don’t want to hug someone? Politely decline. Don’t want to see someone? Politely decline. Don’t like the way someone is treating you? Nicely ask them not to do so, and if it continues, set your safe boundaries and limit contact. Someone hurts your feelings? Approach with a level of hurt instead of anger. If you need help, ask an adult.
Yes, these sound like big people things. But, how do you think ”big people” learned these things? Either their parents, caregivers, or even a therapist. These things can be taught at a young age, it’s just about finding the right approach and words that work for your littles.
The world is not black and white. There are plenty of gray areas. Our children need to know how they want to venture through and handle the gray spots. Our job is to give them the best tools we can and remind them that if all else fails, we will be there to help them, guide them, protect them, be their safe place.
Let’s raise them to be kind, caring, respectful, accepting, beautiful, God-fearing, sweet humans.