April Fool’s

This is a tough one to share, but I’m going to do my best. So, bear with me and please understand that due to certain circumstances this is a summed up version of the situation, and not all details are present because of ongoing things.

On April first, of all days, my mom and I were informed my brother had been numbing some internal struggles with a couple of different, not so great, “medications,” if you will. Booze fixes nothing, but it can destroy everything.

Our mama had grandma at an appointment out of town, so I headed out the door to find him and talk him off the ledge. When I found him, he had just finished getting himself and a kayak he purchased back to shore after tipping over fairly far out. How he managed to not drown, was all God‘s doing. Kid can’t even swim, let alone try to learn while highly intoxicated.

We talked, he puked, I kept him from going back out on the water, and eventually my mom made it back to help get him and his truck to his apartment safely so he could sleep and sober up.

Once back at the apartments, a firearm was removed from his truck for safety reasons. Mom got him settled down, and we ran to get a fresh fountain soda before all going home. On their way to my grandparents, they found my brother walking down the highway. His girlfriend decided to dump him in the middle of his drunken stupor.

I volunteered to go back and talk to him, but when I got there he was in the process of getting into his truck to leave. I approached his truck to see if he wanted to stay and talk and that’s when he discovered his firearm was missing. His touch with reality snapped, he smashed my car up with his truck, and then he also attempted to physically come after me. I was able to walk away without any physical damage to myself, and I know that it was the grace of God allowing me to go home to my babies. Things could have gone and ended very differently, but God was on my side.

The whole situation is difficult to process, because he is still and will always be my brother, but addiction has ahold of him and he’s not looking for help right now. It’s been offered, pushed, pleaded and begged for, but to no avail.

This is a side to him I’ve never seen before, and it’s scary. Addiction has the power to take loved ones from us, and a good portion of the time, there’s absolutely nothing you can do for the person. My brother would never lay a hand on me, or anyone for that matter, while sober. It’s not who he is, but right now he is lost. I pray that he can find his way before it’s too late, and I’ve done everything I can from my end, but I’ve run out of options.

I’m not sharing this to blast him, or for sympathy, or anything aside from bringing a light to addiction and the ruin it can bring to families and loved ones. It is Satan at his finest, and it’s not a pretty or fun road to travel.

If you or someone you know is struggling, I am praying so hard for you, because this is a very windy, unpredictable, very scary road. If you need someone to talk to, I ask that you reach out. To me, to someone you trust, just reach out. Your people still love you and they want to help you.

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