Updated: Feb 26
If you happen to be someone who doesn’t know our family, this is where I get to share who we are and help guide you through our sweet mess of chaos.
The one with the blog. Currently celebrating my twenty-sixth year of life, navigating my marriage, faith, and motherhood one step at a time. If we’re honest, this best sums up our day to day life. We take it one step, one moment, one breath at a time. In short, I am a SAHM that is giving it her best each and everyday, though, to a fault.
Some days are harder than others. My voice raises to a yell and is no longer quiet and sweet, my children have eaten popcorn and toast for dinner (not due to lack of funds for nutricious food,) we occasionally spend a day in pajamas, my hair goes in a bun for days (unbrushed and unwashed,) my water intake is unspeakable (also, nonexistent,) and quite frankly the list of imperfections is endless. I am not here because I found the answers, I am here to help you find them along our journey.
The caretaker, the breadwinner, father, husband, and my partner in crime.
It doesn’t feel like he gets the credit he deserves very often. When it comes to anything food, he is the chef. I personally make a mean piece of toast, but he can whip delicacies up from scratch like it’s his job.
Brett works hard, loves his children and wife harder, knows how to do dishes and laundry, can draw the perfect bubble bath (he’s the Monica to my Chandler,) and he always reminds me that this too shall pass and nothing is permanent. The pain or chaos of today will be gone tomorrow. He does exceptionally well at keeping my spirits and mood on the up and up.
Then, we have Averi.
This girl, is mind-blowingly brilliant, kind, sweet, innocent, with just a touch of sass. Which is incredible for only being ten.
Although she is Brett’s by blood, she is mine by choice. Someday, we will touch on the basis of being a “bonus” parent, sibling, etc. because there is no manuscript and it can be immensely difficult. Especially when you didn’t enter a child’s life until roughly age 5, when they had already determined who mom, dad, and their main caretakers are. Bonding is a struggle, but I love this girl as much as I humanly can.
She is her own concoction of wonderful. Averi is the epitome of being different and accepting who she is and who she wants to be. She is a cat obsessed, wizard & bug loving, incredible big sister.
In the ring to Averi’s left, we have Luci.
Luci is witty, sweet & sour, feisty, and all around her mothers daughter. My first born, my first love, the one who made me a mother four years ago. Almost five.
I would be lying if I told you it hasn’t been a rollercoaster with her. But, I wouldn’t change one second of it unless I could go back and snuggle her just a little longer.
Luci is independent and has been since the day she was born. She can think for herself, but still accepts help along the way (most of the time.) Until recently she has only sought attention from her daddy who is entirely wrapped around her little finger, and will someday conquer the world. This mom just prays it’s in a pleasant, world changing for the better way instead of world domination. Lord knows I need help and spend a lot of time talking to God about this girl and her drive to test my patience.
Fifteen months after Miss Luci, there came sweet little Jax.
Jax is not your average little boy. His heart and mind are pure, he loves endlessly and deeply for only being three. Jax’s heart is the softest I have ever seen, and kindness radiates from his smile.
Am I telling you he doesn’t have his moments? Of course not. He is only three after all. His temper has slowly surfaced, and it can be just as fierce as his sweet side. It’s like the calm before the storm. We are working on that, and finding better outlets instead of bottling things inside and erupting like a volcano at a later date.
Luci and Jax are the best of friends, and they love their big sister with all of their hearts. We have finally reached the age where questions that are tough to answer are surfacing, and we are doing our best to navigate them the correct way without entirely confusing their little minds.
Last, but cerrainly not least, we have Alvi.
Her entrance into this world was just as frightening as her attitude some days. Truly though, she is a miracle. An extraordinary, feral miracle.
Her story started with a two vessel umbilical cord, which can ultimately mean stunted growth in the womb and a flag for an array of chromosomes abnormalities.
Alvi stunned the doctors when her growth exceeded the charts, and we declined testing of her chromosomes. She entered this world the darkest shade of purple I have ever seen, with that pesky two vessel cord wound tightly around her neck, not just once, but twice. Limp. She had no breath in her lungs, and a faint little heartbeat. We were blessed to already have the NICU team present. But, before they could help her, she was stuck. I mean, stuck. The tiniest nurse I’ve ever seen, hardly over 4 foot and roughly 90 pounds soaking wet, did some crazy wrestling move where she jumped up and landed a punch in the perfect spot on my pubic bone/hip to get her unstuck and finish bringing her into this world. There was a lot of yelling, commotion, and plenty of other things that I was thoroughly blessed to have been blind and deaf to.
My body went into shock somewhere in the midst of it all, to the point I had no clue she was stuck. Unaware of what was happening and why our situation was stalled, I continued to pray, eyes shut tight, purely focused on bringing this baby into the world. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13 was on repeat in my mind.
He gave me the strength I needed to bring her into this world, and the strength to remain calm when she lay there lifeless. God blessed me with my third baby. He gave her life when it looked impossible, but He had already spent eight months showing me what a fighter my baby was while still growing in the womb.
Alvi was roughly 4 hours old before she had a solidified name. We spent ten months without a set name, and it was only harder when we finally had her in our arms.
It took a Google search, and there, at the top, was Alvi. It was far too perfect. As soon as I read it, I looked at her sweet face, said it aloud, and she was named.
Several hours passed before someone mentioned how fitting her name was with her entrance into this world. After another quick Google search, I learned Alvi means, perfectly fittingly, gift of God. Whoa. True story, I promise.
Only a handful of people know her story, so sharing this is still rather difficult. Even fourteen months later. But, I am convinced she is going to change the world.
Regardless of her grand appearance, Alvi is unlike any baby I have ever seen. Feisty, go getter, fearless, intelligent (so very intelligent,) and insanely feral are only a handful of ways this sweet baby girl can be described. Watching her grow and change is bitter sweet, as we have yet to decide if she will be our grand finale or if we will venture to add one more to the mix. Of course, ultimately, it will be in God’s hands.
As you can picture, our chaos is imperfectly perfect. Yet, there is no single thing I would change about our children or our lives. The chaos gives me a purpose, a reason to thrive everyday, and meaning behind the kindness and grace I strive to share with others.
We all have a part to play, and a journey to complete. Our story is only just the beginning, and we cannot wait to share our joys and triumph along with our trials and mountains along the way.
Welcome to our chaos, we are so glad you’re here.