Yesterday I took off and got my nails done. While I sat and enjoyed the peace of my quiet, reserved nail lady, I soaked it in. I soaked in every last drop of the stillness and quiet.
Sure, there was a tv on and a lady getting a pedicure chatting with her gal, and even my sister had a chatty artist doing hers just a couple spots back from me, but I didn’t hear any of it. I zoned out and enjoyed not being touched, used as a jungle gym, being head butted, someone crying very loudly in my face and the ringing in my ears, no diaper to change. All of the things that define me in this stage of life, I left at home. For just a couple hours, I was myself. Just simple, plain, easygoing me. It felt so wonderful. I forgot how much I crave that feeling some days.
Wanna know what else I did? This is the magical part.
I prayed. Oh boy, did I pray. For so many different things, but most of all, the ability to let myself be where I was and not focus on what sent me there to begin with. I prayed for patience (yikes, I know), a gunk free heart to go home with, understanding, ease, peace, and love, amongst many other things, but these were some of the big ones.
You know what happened? When I got home it was like an entire reset had happened. God heard me and He knew what I needed. I asked and He provided.
My children were the most well behaved they’ve been in over a week. We didn’t even come inside until well after dark because they were being that good. Not even a fuss when it was time to sleep. Granted, they’re on the couch, but most nights even that becomes a fight. It’s always mama’s bed or nowhere, and there’s just not room to do that anymore. It’s heartbreaking, but reality.
It lasted for awhile, but just like everything else, things are only temporary. Everything is always changing.
The goodness only lasted a few hours, and ended when the clock struck midnight. The dog decided it was time to start barking and wake the sleeping baby from her slumber in her crib. If it wasn't enough for her to be woken, Alvi went into one of her fabulously loud, ear drum bleeding, endless fits. It only lasted about 45 minutes, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but she also woke before six this morning in another fit. Luckily, she took her cup and eventually dozed off again for just a short while.
Brett got himself up early this morning and beat me outside to start morning chores, which I absolutely appreciated. Sometimes it is nice to not be the one keeping everything and everyone together.
We finished chores and played outside for a bit, but the kids were a tad grumpy, per usual, and it was dreadfully hot. Like, the hot that makes you sweat in places you forget can sweat.
We spent most of the day inside hanging out together, but when a random showered happened upon us I took the kids to burn some stink off in the rain. We even went for a walk to snag a couple snacks from the gas station.
Alvi and I took a nice warm bath and the other kids have dozed, snacked, and yes, they've been allowed to have the television on. They haven't watched anything in a couple weeks aside from a little here and there at grandma's house.
It's been a hectic, kid run, and somehow still somewhat relaxing. Until I started trying to blog.
Instantly Alvi was trying to start a fight with her sister, Jax woke and came to pile into my lap, the dog finally needed to potty, and Alvi forgot she wasn't glued to me and Jax was sneaking in time with mommy. So, in all her glory, she's hit me, attempted to knock my laptop off my legs, and wacked me in the face a couple times.
Lord, have mercy.
This is one of those times it feels like bedtime can‘t come soon enough, but I'm also soaking up all of these snuggles I don't normally get.
The thing is, this is life.
This is kids, marriage, friends, family.
Crazy, messy, hard, chaotic, stressful, busy, nerve-racking, but also rewarding, love filled, heart warming, sweet, wonderful, and so so bittersweet.
At the end of the day something always happens to remind us how worth it this life we’ve been given is, even if it’s just the simple smile your baby gives you when she asks for a cup of milk.