Dirty Feet & Sunshine

Yesterday was mental health Monday.

My soul needed a good cry in my safe space, and a healthy reminder that 5 hours a week of sleep does absolutely no good for anyone.

When I got home I had a couple of different but very important conversations with Brett.

The first was one my soul has been longing for for the last 6 years we’ve been together. One where he opens his heart and soul to me on a much deeper level than just your ordinary surface talks. Turns out, therapy for one can do amazing things for those around them, too, if you’re open and share your journey.

During our talks Brett made the choice that he would take Alvi to sleep up the road at his mom’s house while she’s away at his sisters.

Luci and I were out and about later on and somehow I managed to drive over the top of a baby bird that was in the center of my side of the road without harming it. We turned around to move him out of the road and ultimately decided to bring him home with us.

Luc was extremely interested in him and spent lots of time letting him perch on her fingers, feeding him, and watching over him.

When we went to bed he was fine and sleeping soundly.

I woke much earlier than normal this morning and upon checking on “hot candy” I found that he hadn‘t made it through the night. Brett wasn’t home yet so I texted to his opinion.

The plan was for Auntie Kait to take him to a bird rehab for us this morning when she dropped baby Hank off. The way I saw it we had two options. Tell Luci the bird was on his way to someone who could help him better than us, or tell her the truth, let her mourn the baby bird, and assure her we did everything for we could have for him.

I’m the mom that’s quick on her toes when it comes to protecting my children from harm. When things like this happen it’s easy for me to come up with an alternative route that allows them much less pain.

Really, though, what good will that do them for their future? If I don’t help them and nurture them through tough experiences now, it’s going to be much harder when they happen down the road. It’s okay to want to spare your children from heartache. as mama’s we tend to do it quite a bit and fairly often.

There comes a point though when it’s time to start letting the world come into full scale for them. Little bits at a time, a lesson here and there, as not to bombard their little hearts and minds and confuse them into thinking the world is only an all bad place to be.

We went with the honest route, and the craziest thing happened as we sat on the floor together in the kitchen. She was big and brave, but she felt comfortable being sad. She cried big tears and we had some big snuggles before we got the baby bird and prepared him for burial.

She sat and held the box while her dad dug the hole and then she placed his box ever so gently into the hole, helping her dad to bury him. She placed a large rock she picked herself from our big pile to place over him so she won’t forget where he is.

As we finished up, Brett reminded Luci that being sad is absolutely okay, but helped her along by reminding her that he is now up in Heaven with Jesus and gramma Annie, who is feeding him from all of her wonderful bird feeders.

It was only later on when the first hummingbird I’ve seen this year showed up to play in my flowers. Amongst a few of the things that gramma Annie was known for was her love in hummingbirds, and regardless of it only being a little Crow baby, I saw the Godwink that was sent to show me we made the right choice, and our loved ones are with us all the time, through the good and bad, hard and triumphant, they are always always watching over us.

The kids enjoyed a fair amount of sun today before we had to call it quits earlier than I prefer, but I have to learn that even resilient children who go go go all the time have limits, and they are limits that need to be respected.

Those around you along with yourself all have boundaries. Boundaries of all different shapes, styles, forms, and each and every one should be respected at all times, regardless of how big or how small. Teach your children while they’re young, so they may have the ability to set safe and comfortable boundaries when they’re grown.

It’s time for showers, popcorn, a movie, and my almost favorite, bedtime.

I also finally finished my book Present Over Perfect and I’ve decided that from now in in between each “real life book” I’m opting to read a novel. Novels are my jam. Pictured below are the two I’m deciding between and if you have an opinion on one or the other please feel free to let me know!

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