Today was absolutely the most fantastic day. Regardless of a few hiccups, I’m now calm and taking some time to get a few of these posts knocked out while Averi has ball practice.
Kait and I took baby Hank on a mom date to flower shop and get Mexican for lunch. I so desperately needed a day without children, and with a good friend. Little Hank doesn’t count, because I’ve never seen a more behaved tiny little thing. He also flirts with me, so there’s that. Sometimes I get jealous of what a fun, laid back, sweet baby he is, but I don’t think I know anyone who deserves a baby like that more than Kait. She handles Kallie and all of her gore, guts, and glory with so much grace and sweet understanding. Their lives are wild and chaotic like ours, but in such different ways. My life was fairly quiet when God sent me Alvi, so some chaos was overdue anyway.
I’ll make another post in a day or so, but we found a flower that not only looks like popcorn when it blooms, the plant itself smells like buttered popcorn! Hello, my new little love! This neat little guy will actually be living in a container inside the house for my pleasure, and my pleasure only.
Luci and Jax also had ball practice tonight at the same time as Averi, so the plan was to split up at the end and one of us come pick her up if need be. Brett was on the road when he got asked if we wanted to take her, and he wasn’t thinking so he said sure. Normally I can manage stuff like this, but I decided the easiest thing to do would be come and get her to take her myself, and be able to have a conversation with Averi’s mom on a mom to mom basis. I love how understanding and easy it was to get stuff situated and figured out. I honestly feel bad for people who aren’t able to swallow their pride or have others who make it impossible to co-parent for the sake of a child.
God granted me with calm and grace, after my frustration with our situation and gave me an opportunity to show I can handle my emotions and get things sorted properly. A few don’t have much confidence in my ability to play nice with others, and that’s understandable at times.
I’m a super easy going and laid back person, but when you pluck that final string, it’s like mic night at the trap house.
I admire people who get angry but stay classy. Once I lose my shit, it’s like open mic night at the trap house.
I wasn’t necessarily mad about one thing or another, but small things build up really fast and become overwhelming for me almost immediately. I know, that’s not healthy. That’s why I have a therapist and we’re working on it. Healing old wounds will have tremendous changes for my response to other life situations.
What happened today had two different possibilities. I could take my feelings and place them in my box to deal with later, or I could believe in myself and know that I’m able to gently talk to others and work out things that cause me distress. I thoroughly believe that today I made the right choice.
Somedays, I amaze myself. But then I have to step back and realize how much God amazes me. His strength, His faith in me gives me the ability to continue growing and walking this crazy ass life with confidence and grace, even on the hard days, in the midst of hard feelings.