Updated: Feb 23
We all have a past. One that helped create who we are today. The only difference between your past and mine is how we choose to let it shape us.
Growing up, I didn't get the chance to be a child. My past holds trauma, pain, fear, abandonment, amongst many other things.
In the midst of it all, my mother gave it her all, every single day. She did above what the limits that had been set for her as a mom told her she could do. She worked hard day in and day out to make sure we felt loved, taken care of, and worthy of more. The struggle would not define us, or make us any less important than the next person.
If it weren't for her, I'd be scared to see who I would have turned out to be and where I would be in the world today, if at all. She's my rock, my best friend, and my biggest supporter. She provided the hope and strength we needed to make it just one more day.
Our past can either consume us and drown us, making us a soggy, hateful person, or we can let it shape us, mold usand create something much more beautiful than anyone thought could rise from the ashes.
Never having the chance to be a little kid, I find myself overly frustrated with my children at times. Because I forget what it looks like to be one of them. I forget the loudness, the chaos, the absolute joy of being a tiny human without a care in the world.
They aren't meant to be quiet and behave 24/7. They are supposed to make mistakes, learn new things, and be noisy and creative. Even if that means emptying a tube of toothpaste into the sink just to see what it looks like.
Often times I need a gentle reminder of these things, and when I get them I owe it to my children to listen and accept what I'm being told.
Every word, every sigh and eye roll, every frustrated tone I take is shaping who they're going to be. It takes work to remember to speak softly, let them create messes and use their imagination to the fullest. Even if that means running ramped through the house singing at the top of their lungs.
Let them be little, for they won't be this way for long. Our kids only have one childhood, and we owe it to them to make it exceptional. It won't be perfect. There will be struggles and hard days, but we can always make tomorrow better.
Whatever your past holds, whatever pain and suffering may still be in your heart - it is time to let go.
Let it mold and shape you. Look up to the people you did have, the ones that supported you and did everything they could to make sure you made it to the other side of the suffering.
Use today to make a new shape, a new bend in who you are. If you were blessed enough to have a wonderful childhood without any hiccups, my heart is full of joy for you. You already have all the right tools to make each new day better. Just remember, not everyone had what you did, and others may struggle a little more than you.
We all look different, feel different, and will shape to our own lives differently. Don't get caught up comparing yourself to others. They aren't walking the same path as you, they didn't travel the same roads you did, and we were all created in our own unique ways.
Build others up, remind them they're doing a good job, instead of tearing them down and pointing out their flaws. We are all hyper-aware of our shortcomings and flaws, and what we need is to be reminded of the ways that we shine, what our strengths are, and how we inspire those around us.