I. Am. Exhausted.
So many things have happened in the last 24 hours, and they aren’t even over yet.
I cannot share what has happened, for many different reasons. But, my family could use all the unspoken prayers. All. Of. Them. We are all tired, upset, confused, and wishing things were a dream.
God has a plan that we know nothing about, and it’s getting harder to trust, but we have no other options. The only way we will see the other side will be by clinging to our faith and praying for the best. Lessons and tests are meant to strengthen and grow our faith, and my word, He is pushing us to grow hard.
The babes took a glorious 3 hour nap with me today followed by baking and frosting cookies. See pictures below. It was an absolute blast and all together overwhelming all at once, but I did it anyway. My kids deserve to enjoy their Good Friday, whether they know what today is or not. Children should not have to suffer because of things that are entirely out of their control; things they don’t even know are happening.
They’ve had their baths, and are currently watching The Croods 2, and more than likely they will be allowed to sleep on the couch tonight. A fight just isn’t in the books for us tonight.
I’ve lost my temper with the baby and am currently refusing to hold her. My anxiety and stress are running over, and I just can’t handle the squirming, screaming, hitting, kicking, poking, prodding, up and down, yes/no, temperament of this child right now.
It feels like I’m constantly begging God to help me, and hearing radio silence. I’m desperate and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. Life is a mess. I am a mess, and I so so desperately need something to change. I know it’s coming, and I am trying so unbelievably hard to cling to my faith. It all just feels so damned.
Tonight, I ask you to be grateful and give thanks to God for not only what you have, but also what you don’t have. Whatever those things may be, give him the full thanks He deserves and rest easy tonight knowing that tomorrow can only be better than today. Things cannot stay hard forever. There are so many terrible things in the world we live in, and sometimes it’s easy to forget all of the things we don’t have on our plate that could very easily be there. We don’t know what other people are going through, and the best thing , aside from praying, that you can do is be kind.
Always. Be. Kind.