Updated: Apr 19
Oh, my friends. My day started at 1 this morning. A whiny pup who pottied in her kennel and absolutely had to get cleaned up made sure I started my day on the best note after getting to sleep for maybe an hour.
Oh, by the way, we added a puppy to our chaotic mess, because why not? She’s actually Luci’s birthday present, just early. Let’s see. She’s a mix of Lab and Catahoula Leopard dog. She’s spotted like I am and I absolutely love it.
The kids had their first ballgame today and it went so much better than I could have hoped. My little humans are quite possibly the most adorable things I’ve ever seen, biased or not. Jax walked the bases and at one point Luci sat on third base just chilling while she waited for her teammate to hit the ball.
We spent the entire afternoon and evening working on our monster of an overgrown backyard and finally getting the new chicken coop 98% completed. But, that’s a whole other story. Someday, maybe.
This next part is extremely difficult to share, so I’m going to get through it as quickly as humanly possible and just hit publish before I can change my own mind.
Since I was roughly 16, I’ve been a closet smoker off and on. Most of the time it’s a couple a day and no one can even tell I do it. Even with cancer surrounding me, I just couldn’t push myself hard enough to quit.
I’m 4 whole days cold turkey (with nicotine patches) and this change came from one of my very best friend having her husbands mom get some absolutely terrible news. Lung cancer; stage 4.
My sweet friend has a brand new baby amongst other grandchildren. But, I know 100% if I can quit now and lessen my chances of my children/grandchildren going through something similar with me down the line, I have to do it. My life isn’t just mine anymore. I have children and regardless of how young they are now, eventually they will grow up and have families of their own. I intend to do everything I possibly can to be around to see as much of their lives as possible.
Very, very few people know or suspect this old habit of mine, and to say I’m ashamed is an understatement. Hate is a strong, ugly word, but I wholeheartedly loathe, despise, hate this disgusting habit. It isn’t cute, or fancy, classy, or make me a badass. It’s an awful habit and it’s time it ends for good. A year from now, I can’t wait to say I made it to the other side. 365 days of no nastiness. Watch for it, it’s coming.
We all conquer our battles in our own time, and it is much appreciated when others don’t judge us for our struggles. We all have secret demons in our closets, and sooner or later we become brave enough to ask God to help us face them head on.