Starting Again

Brett’s days off fall on Sunday & Monday, so it’s not very often him and I get to do anything just the two of us. After a bit of begging, Brett won and I let the kids have a night with grandma.

Brett and I were able to watch a movie uninterrupted (mostly), I stuffed a load of diapers and worked on some other laundry. It was a nice, relaxing night and I slept so good I could cry. We even got up and sat on the front porch to drink coffee, you know, since we aren’t getting the 1-3 inches of snow the weather people claimed was coming.

The rest of my morning consisted of cleaning the house, which will be more thorough and frequent while we have a potty training puppy. She’s getting good at whining when she needs to go, and using the puppy pads when she doesn’t think about going outside.

Last night, as I laid in bed, I had something fierce on my heart to share. But, instead, I went to sleep, and for the life of me I cannot remember what it was. In due time, it’ll come back. Until then, I have something different.

You all are aware I quit smoking. But, I fell off the wagon because I ran out of patches and my will just wasn’t strong enough. The thing is though, I’m still quitting. I won’t keep this nasty habit. It’s time to be done. This is me being honest with not just myself, but anyone I also share our story with. Because, even with God, sometimes we still struggle. That’s part of life and being human, and even though we fail sometimes, it doesn’t mean we have to continue staying where we are. It’s constant work to get to where and who we want to be.

Lapsing on my journey doesn’t mean I’m doomed to fail, it just means I have to work harder. Each day will make the next easier, and eventually I’ll no longer long for things I don’t need. It’s just Satan trying to do harm to my life, and I’m in control of what I allow him to accomplish. My God is bigger, and I will not be afraid. Success will come with time, and my faith is strong.

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