“That” Mom

I am “that” mom.

The one that tells herself to suck it up, buttercup. This is your circus, those are your monkeys, and if you don’t do it who else will?

At random times in life, even at only 26, I struggle with migraines. My favorite is when I’m told they’re just “really bad headaches” because I don’t put myself in bed, in a dark room, and stick earplugs in my ears.

Trust me, they’re really real migraines. My vision goes wonky, I puke, I can hardly keep my eyes open. But, I push myself. Way too hard, in fact. I can’t handle the idea of not having my kids for days, letting the house go to poo, and waiting for someone else to pick up where I’m slacking off.

I just can’t do it.

I’m not asking for a medal, no. This is something else entirely.

I have help, if I ask for it. They know I’m overly self sufficient and don’t accept it until I’m ready, but it’s nearly always there. Whether or not I utilize it is entirely my choice. Ever so slowly, I’m coming to terms with the fact that if I accept the help sooner, I’m able to spend a night, maybe two, without kiddos and be ready to jump back in the game. The longer I wait, the harder I fall, and the harder bouncing back is.

Is this what it means to start getting old? I’m too young for that.

If you have resources for help around you, use them. Your pride doesn’t have to be damaged because you asked for help. Asking for help comes from a place of strength, not weakness. We all need help. Only silly people pretend they’ve got it all under control.

Life is overwhelming and if we keep pretending it’s not, our mental health is going to continue to suffer. Our world is messy and scary enough, let’s not add extra suffering to the table if we don’t have to.

If you don’t have people around who can help, especially if you’re a stay at home mom, it’s okay to have a sitter in the background for days you need a good handful of hours to just sit, without children, and breathe. I pray you can afford a day here and there, because you deserve it.

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