In our home, we have two yucky words that start with “f.” You can surely guess the main 4 letter one, but the second might be a little tougher.
In our home, this is an extremely unkind word, and not one I want my children using. Yes, I’ve taught them this is a ”wash your mouth with soap” kind of word, because body image is so important in the process of loving yourself thanks to the society we live in. The world makes it so, and in return we have to remind our children their self worth is not based on what they weigh or how they look.
As a thinner person, I’ve spent a good portion of my life with people, some I don’t even know, asking why I don’t eat more, telling me I’m too thin, constantly putting me down for my weight. I can’t gain weight even when I’m trying. If it’s frowned upon to tell someone they weigh too much, it should be looked at just the same when you think someone doesn’t have enough meat on their bones. I’d love to have a round bum, or rather, any bum at all. I sincerely miss my pre-breastfeeding boobs. My chest officially looks like it did before puberty, and that’s been a little rough on my self esteem. I’m working on it, though, because my children should not look at the numbers on a scale or the shape of their body and feel ashamed. Body shaming is not okay. Thin or curvy, I don’t look at your outsides to find your beauty. My soul connects with other souls, personalities, but most definitely not your jeans size.
Telling someone they’d be prettier, look nicer, etc. if they gained some weight is just as much bullying as using the ”f” word at someone. None of us are perfect, and we are all built entirely different from one another. Aside from health concerns, what someone’s physical appearance looks like should not matter to another person.
We should all spend a little more time diving into the depths of another’s personality instead of judging a book for its cover. Few people take the time to open the cover of a new book and read the introduction after taking a look at the cover and deciding it just doesn’t trip their fancy. I get it, I’ve been there. I’ve made mistakes and poor judgement just like anyone else. But the difference is, I don’t want to live like that. I don’t want this world to condition me to be a certain way.
If you tell your children they are brave, kind, smart, loved, worthy, and anything else you can think of, when is the last time you told them they are skinny, fat, curvy, big boned, etc.? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you most likely haven’t ever done that. Simply because those are not the things that make them who they are.
I want to be my flawed, empathic, thin, wild, outgoing, perfectly imperfect, beautiful, chaotic self, and I find no shame in that whatsoever.