The Start of Our Rainbow

Yesterday, it happened.

After at least three months, we got a car.

The amount of tears I cried was ridiculous, but I’m blaming hormones. I am so so thankful that God showed up when He did, because I don’t know how much more I could have taken.

God never leaves. Even when we’re angry, when we want to give up, and when we don’t know how much longer we can keep our faith in something that doesn’t feel like it’s ever going to happen.

Our God is bigger. He knows better than we do. I don’t know why we had to wait so long, why we‘ve had so many things hit us in such a short time, or why now is the time for things to start falling into place, but it is. It’s happening and I feel all the feels. It’s a powerful thing, to feel the work that God’s been holding onto for so long, growing what we need to heights we didn’t know we needed.

Our new car is beautiful. An absolute beast to say the least. It’s not the mini van I envisioned, but just as good, if not better. It fits us all perfectly, the trunk is ginormous, and I officially have to bite my own tongue after talking about all the bougie vehicles, houses, and people I’ve seen lately.

It’s hard to believe it’s really our car, and I keep waiting for someone to say April fool’s and take it back.

I am, officially, small town bougie. But that’s where it stops. I don’t need big, fancy, expensive things to be happy. I’m not materialistic, as nice as nice things may be, I don’t need them to survive. But, I will say, whoever said money doesn’t buy happiness, isn’t entirely correct.

Money pays the bills, allows us to have a reliable car that fits our family, and puts food on the table. The stress people feel when they don’t have that security? Yes, you can pray and have faith that it’s going to work itself out but deep down, there will always be the fear of losing the things we need to keep our families safe and well taken care of.

If landing a car hadn’t made for a perfect enough day, after browsing on line checking into the prices of the outdoor rocking chairs I’ve been eyeing that had gone on sale, their website decided to show me a store near us had them on clearance in store for $54. I nearly peed. They‘re normally $97, so at almost half off, that was a stinking steal and worth the hour drive round trip.

I also did a thing. Yes, another one.

I’m going back to school as a para, at least two days a week, and even though I can’t decide how permanent it is, we’re doing this. My heart says, that even if it’s just for now, this is what I need to do.

After one day I’m pooped, but no more exhausted than I would be on a normal day at home with my own kiddos.

We’re finally those people. The ones that have their kids in bed by 7:30 and I’m not ashamed. I’ve gotten to sit in my new rocking chair and listening to the deafening sounds of the locusts while sipping some hot chocolate to relax the tension that builds from having so many kids.

It’s nearly my turn for bed, and I’ll be honest with you. My groceries still aren’t on the shelves, my clothes are in the dryer so I can attempt to have something that fits to wear to work tomorrow, the garbage can is full, and the dishes are only half done. Oh, and there’s a swept up pile of teddy grahams in front of the garbage can that Alvi dumped because my dust pan is missing. I’m not doing it before I go to bed. It can wait.

No, I’m not joking, and no, I’m not ashamed. It comes with the territory of having kids and a husband that’s been on the road for days. I’ll get to it. Tomorrow.

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