So Much Poop

We finally got to pack up and head to get big sister, who had a super awesome day. I’m bummed and thrilled all at once.

Alvi got sick on the car ride home (hot dogs), and I couldn’t clean her fast enough on the side of the road, so she was re-eating pieces of hot dog. Not much makes me gag, but that was a treat.

Quick dinner, ball practice, and it’ll be time to head home and get baths in before the kids fall asleep.

It should’ve been easy, right? You haven’t met my kids.

Jax had an exceptionally rough day. He missed his sister terribly, he slid out of the stroller going uphill and ended up laying on the sidewalk under Brett’s feet, and at the park he tried to transfer from one of the climbing things to the actual playground part, lost his footing, and smashed his jaw on the platform on his way down. His teeth are still intact, but one is fairly irritated and bleeds easy. We’re keeping an eye on it, but for now it’s still firm in place and feeling better. At the end of ball practice his coach asked if he wanted to hit one more time. This kid looked me square in the face, with a face I now understand, and said ”nope, I want to go home.” As I was loading Alvi and the bags into the car his grandma opted to help him buckle. I hear her say something smells like poop, followed by a questionable “what in the world,” and Jax very openly saying “that was me.” Turns out, in his words, “I had a really big fart,” and he indeed shat his pants. Massively. I don’t mean some little spot, guys. I’m talking a full whopping handful of funny gunk that was a heaping pile of corn, green beans, and a few other unidentifiable things. Thank God for baby wipes and cloth diapers. Amen.

Once home, I showered them, tried to sit in the recliner with the footstool up to stuff a pile of diapers, and ended up with a dog, a baby, Luci, and my pile of diapers all on myself and the footrest.

I’m calling it a day since all three children fell asleep as soon as their little noggins hit the pillows.

So, let’s recap.

Alvi ate her hot dog barf, Jax nearly needed to go to the ER, he also shat himself at ball practice, and how could I forget my other favorite thing? Yankee, at one point today, wrapped herself around one of the columns on the porch too many times and still needed to poo. So she took a giant steaming pile on the sidewalk.

It was a bit of a shit day. Pun intended. I hope you all got as good as a laugh out of my day as we did here in the Kimzey house.

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