When it Rains

I don’t know how, or even where to start, so let’s just do this.

We decided to take the kids to the creek (cricket) yesterday. We got there, got the kids ready and out of the truck, and Yankee was no longer in the back. We figured she hopped out, so we headed back to find her.

After not being able to find her for longer than I cared for, we dropped the kids off with Brett’s mom and I made Brett drop me off at the creek while he went back to town to look.

I walked nearly all the way back to the highway before finding her in the ditch. I was an absolute wreck, but the good news is she’s going to be just fine.

We don’t know if she jumped when we slowed to turn, or if she lost her footing and fell, but she has a broken femur and is otherwise perfectly fine. Her surgery is set for Friday, and the vet is keeping her comfortable with pain meds for the time being.

I‘ve been to see her today to make sure she doesn’t feel abandoned. They let me take her outside to potty and I just hung out in her kennel with her while she napped and fussed at me. Leaving her was the hardest because she doesn’t understand why I’m not bringing her home.

If this wasn’t enough to process and work through, we got a call today to let us know our car is most likely toast. We won’t know for sure until tomorrow or Friday, but we’ve only had it for two years and the last thing I want to worry about right now is finding a new vehicle.

I ran my grandpa to a doctor appointment today, and when I finally went to head for home I actually ended up meeting Brett. I take an abnormal way home, and it happens to be the same highway he uses most of the time to leave out in the truck. So, there he was, sitting right at the turn off as if God knew I needed to see him in the midst of the crazy. I made sure no cars were coming, stopped right by him and tossed the car in park, hopped out and hopped onto his step up to give him a good old smooch before he headed out. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again; God winks are by far one of my favorite things and this was one I desperately needed today.

It’s been a hectic day and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m ready to put the kids to bed and have a glass of wine. But, the thing is, if this had all happened a couple months ago before I started therapy, things would have gone such a different route.

I cried. A lot. But I left my prickly cactus skin off and let myself be vulnerable and sad instead of angry and flying on my broomstick in all my rage. I had a couple very fleeting moments of overwhelm that my frustration showed, but I made sure it was over faster than it started. I apologized where it was necessary and kept putting one foot in front of the other.

With this being said, I am so darn proud of myself as I should be. I’ve worked so hard to get to where I am now. There’s still a long, long road ahead, but I’m on my way and that’s what counts.

When it rains, it pours. There’s no doubt about that. The only difference being my mindset, and knowing that much better things are coming. God is on my side and things are going to turn out so much better than I can even fathom. I have faith in that, and a support system that can help guide me to the end of the storm. Yes, more will come, but I’m prepared. I’m ready. My faith is strong, I feel peace, and I’m ready to go dance in the rain instead of letting myself succumb to the chaos of life.

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